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boinae

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Leaving dA

2 min read
Hey guys,

Not sure if any of my watchers are even active any more, I haven't been on this site in months. I've decided to leave dA. I used to log on to this site every single day and regarded it as a safe space to be myself, but it's changed a lot since 2008, I have changed a lot since 2008, and I've outgrown my account and moved on with my life. I don't have time to draw as much as I used to, and most of my art is unfinished sketches these days, not worthy of posting.

I have met some incredible people through this website. They've stuck with me despite the fact that I made an idiot of myself again and again as I struggled to grow up and get my shit together. I've hurt people in my time on this website as well, and if you're one of those people please know that I am so, so, so, sorry.

If any of you are still interested in keeping in contact with me, I have a FurAffinity account I am semi-active on, and tumblr and twitter accounts I use daily. You can note me for URL's if you want.

So, this is it. It's been a wild, fun, and crazy 5 years.

Thanks for everything and goodbye for now, 

Love, Sage
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wow this journal entry is so late. i just went through my messages and i had some from christmas time. that's pretty shitty of me and i apologize.

i do have legitimate reasons for being away, though. life is pretty SHITTY for me right now, i gotta say. for those of you who don't know, i work practically 24/7, either at my shitty cashier job where i work 9 or days, or when i somehow manage to do some of my homeschool. lately i've just been getting more and more overwhelmed and it's just been hard to find any time to do ANYTHING.

both my grandparents are in the hospital, and it looks like thats where they will be until they pass away... which, for my Grandpa, will probably be soon. that's pertty heartbreaking to know. his mind is completely gone now... he probably wouldn't even remember who i am.

2 sundays ago, one of my dogs stopped eating. we phoned the vet monday morning to get him in tuesday first thing. he was dead in his crate when i got home from work. RIP little Steve... i'm so sorry you had to go so soon. you were only 1 and a half years old, and that is much too soon to be gone.
that was extremely hard for my family and i.

i worked good friday and easter sunday so i didn't get to spend any time with my family, so that sucked.

one of my bosses decided it was a good idea to scream at me in front of customers so that was fun too. she made us both look like idiots. i don't want to get into it, but it really wasn't anything i could control. still my fault somehow, whatever.

so between all of that ^ i really haven't had ANY spare time to spend online or draw or do anything which has been hard. i'm exhausted, both mentally and physically.

i hope you're all doing well, though. i miss talking to you guys a lot. whats been happening in your lives?

talk soon

love,
kat.

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www.livestream.com/thelonersag… I'm online yo! For the time being anyway, until my internet shits out on me. Anyway, if you come hang out with me on the chat i may do some requests nun so yeah! come hang out with me if you want <3

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see, i have something i really need to get off my chest. i've had a lot of friends come and go over the past couple of years as i struggled to find myself, become more confident, brave, and proud of who i am as a person. it's taken me a long, long time to get where i am today, and i have so many people have helped me along the way. SirDire met me when i was at my absolute lowest point. i had just left public school, i was literally falling apart at the seams, dealing with my parents not understanding me, and me not understanding them. i didn't realize i was a lesbian then, i was just lost and looking for something, someone, anything to cling to that would keep my head above water. we talked on the phone for the first time, and the conversation lasted for over an hour. i just sat outside with my dog, leo, on the side of a hill in the middle of the night and poured my heart out to him. he listened almost without saying a word as i told him everything. for the first time in a long time, someone understood me. Wolfie, you really don't realize how much you saved my life. back then, i wanted nothing more than for life to be over, but you offered me a helping hand in my darkest moments, and i'll never be able to repay you for that. i'm so sorry we don't talk as much as we used to; i still think about you on a daily basis and i still love you very, very much.

keamutt oh kailey, the things we've been through together, the things we've seen... i remember that one summer you stayed at my house for 4 days and we camped out in the living room and watched degrassi and talked about boys (and girls) and told each other everything and watched treehouse at 4 in the morning... those days truly mean the world to me. we've been friends for 6 years now, which is kind of surreal. you're the only person i keep in regular contact with from school, maybe because somewhere along the line we just clicked. remember english class with erickson? boy, she hated us. i don't really blame her, because we raised absolute hell... but you're the one person who kept me going right through to grade 9. when grade 9 hit and we hardly saw each other and we sort of branched away from each other... that was the worst year of my life. i missed you desperately! you were going through a rough time, emotionally and relationship wise and we just didn't fit together as well as we did before. it was hard, we had a huge fight and i was so hurt, and you were too. that fight was just stupid and pointless, but i feel like we've grown a lot closer now.... these past few years we've become even closer, and i am very thankful for that. thank you kailey, you are amazing for putting up with me so long.


CrimsonPaw oh boy, where to start with you. you walked into my life and flipped it upside down and made me rethink everything i've ever known. we hated each other at first, which is hilarious because it was for the stupidest reasons. we began talking more often, and i don't even know what happened, but we just grew so close and somewhere along the way, i fell in love with you. it was way too fast and it still reminds me of the john green quote: if people were rain, i was drizzle and she was a hurricane.' because that is how i view you. we dated, but that was a mess because i managed to mess that in my special way, too. i'm so glad you've found gene now, because he treats you so much better than i ever could. after we broke up, my feelings for you didn't fade for a long time, but i forced myself to ignore them, just to be the best friend i possibly could for you. i'm so glad i did, because i can say without a doubt you are my best friend. i can't tell you how much you mean to me. the thought of losing you is physically painful. when you were in europe is when i realized how much i can't function without you. that was 10 days of hell for me, and honestly, i hope we never go 10 days without talking for the rest of our lives. we've had our share of disagreements (3 days ago now, that one was hard and i made some choices i regret and i'm still so, so sorry) but we always manage to bounce back and talk about things like mature adults and i just don't know what i'd do without you. thank you for being in my life, there is still so much i could say to you, but i don't think i should let this journal run on for that long. it would end up a 400 page novel by the time i finished! i love you, my best friend and soul sister in life, you truly are one in a million.

there have been other friends who have changed my life in small, subtle ways as well. if you're reading this, you're probably one of them and just know that even if you're not mentioned above, you haven't effected my life any less. i couldn't have gotten this far without you, so thank you so much for everything you've done for me. you truly are the ones that keep me going.

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I said goodbye to my Irish Wolfhound Mo today... my heart is broken. She was my best friend for 6 long years. I am so privileged to have had a light so pure and bright in my life. The fact that I will never see her again is too difficult for me to comprehend.... I love you SO MUCH my angel.... Rest well and easy, my darling. I'll never forget you....



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